“Fifty Shades of Grey Hair” 

The missus bought a Paperback
Down Mumbles, Saturday, 
I had a look inside her bag; 
T’was “Fifty shades of Grey”. 

Well I just left her to it, 
At ten I went to bed. 
An hour later she appeared; 

The sight filled me with dread…..

In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago
I might have had a peek.
But Doris hasn't weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week.

Watching Doris bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
Things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled up upon her feet;
A couple of minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and…
Said….that I must dominate her!!

Now if you knew our Doris,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d muttered.

She stood there nude, naked like;
Bent forward just a bit ….
I thought what the hell, stepped forward,
And stood on her left tit!

Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one”!!

Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,….
Turned “Fifty shades of Grey”.