Holy Moses, It's on time. On time but full. I expect they are preparing the one and only double decker they clearly must have, for use later on. How thoughtful of them. After clinging on for dear life I now have two seats, well one really because there's a six inch white trail on the other one which I hope to god is chewing gum. Oh what a bonus, the spitting Indian waiter is on the seat in front a

nd he snoring. I only looked up once and caught a sight of what I can only describe as melted green kryptonite departing his nose. The bonus for him is that he has a moustache so he won't swallow it. Which is nice. Oh god, two hysterical teenagers have just got on and they won't stop talking and they're smiling like Cheshire cats, I swear It's a thousand words a second. I bet Ernie is pleased Audrey doesn't go that fast