Position: Fat Controller
We are a major player in the Bus business and we are looking for a non-dynamic person who is completely incapable of running our out of town, over priced bus service. Must be an expert in time travel and a background of cattle herding would be an advantage.
You would also be responsible for the employment of a band of retired ex pirates, brigands and vagabonds completely not interested in driving a bus. Should any start enjoying themselves and become content, polite to customers and generally happy in their job, you will be responsible for their immediate retraining and monitoring thereafter. This will be your main objective and would take priority over running a timetable.
You must use the smallest buses at peak times only and keep the running costs as tight as a gnats arse in order to maximise the possibility of breakdowns to save on fuel.
If you would like an interview and want to be on time, please use a different bus company or another form of transport...
Applications to Phil The Fridge by 1st June 2020