So,,, 7 years of getting the bus to Wycombe and the service is now down to one bus company who I think most people would agree that it is complete rubbish. So much for the government trying to to promote public transport, however I have a few tips far getting a seat on a hopper should it ever decide to turn up

1. Pretend you are saving the seat next to you for your invisible friend, and if anyone

 tries to sit on the seat, scream, "Don't sit on Fenton!" 2. When someone tries to get on the bus, tell them there is another bus behind. 3. Say to someone you have never met before,"Oh my god! It's been ages since I've seen you! How's John and Katy? It must have been about 3 years" etc... See if they pretend to know you. 4. Shout, "FIRE!", and when everyone gets off the bus, you will get a seat. 5. Throw popcorn at people, and when they look at you, whistle and hum so it is obvious that you are pretending you didn't do it. 6. Make a pass at the person sitting next to you. 7. Speak really loudly into your mobile, just saying, "yes. No.Maybe. Pass. I dunno" etc.  8. Hold up the bus using your finger as a gun. 9. Use your bus pass as a CID/Police card, and show it to everyone. 10. tell the person next to you about how sick you get on buses 11. Keep shouting, "I need to go to the toilet!" 12. Offer your seat to someone, and when they try to take it,sit down quickly and say,"MINE!" 13. Do the Full Monty, if you dare. 14. Say to someone, "I know what you did!",or "I know where you live" etc. in an evil voice. 15. Put your walkman on really loudly and dance in a crazy way It kind of works...............